an anonymous concern

In my adult life I have not dated one single man who has a healthy relationship with alcohol. Either the guy has stopped drinking for a reason, or needs to stop drinking for that very same reason.

In other words, I have a penchant for men with issues around booze.

So one of those ex’s who was practicing abstinence is no longer doing so. and it saddens me deeply. And it also scares me.

And I wonder at his community; are they concerned? Do they, does he, understand there is a problem?

I no longer have contact with this man. It is not my place to be involved in any way and yet I know this version of him better than anyone else; this was my life for a good chunk of time.

I’ve spent a lot of time in 12-step meetings so I have a pretty good sense of how this will go.

Also, given my apparent craving for men who crave hootch, I’ve got enough first-hand experience under my belt to feel rather pessimistic.

In other words, I know enough to be distressed and I just hope that someone in his world also is.

There is a flip side to this too; I’m not living it again. Anyone who has lived with an imbiber – active or sober – knows that it comes with a whole set of challenges that you can’t understand unless you have lived it.

It’s fucking exhausting.

And disheartening.

And not my problem to fix.

let go and let god